Thinking of the Universe from Under an Oak Tree

Hello my drear followers,

      My life has been one crazy turn to another for a bit, but i wanted to give a part of it to ya’ll. I still have my dreads they are about 4 weeks old almost YAY!! They are looking hella crazy, soon I’ll be talking to a peep about some work to be done on them so they don’t look so crazy anymore lol.

       Also I have fully withdrawn from college, for reasons that are simple : I have not a damn clue what I want to be doing with myself there. So in turn I feel that I’m wasting my time, money, and the professor’s time, and money. But on the bright side I have hit the job hunting field running and in the last 2 days have put out maybe 17 or more apps and resumes. My bf has one maybe for sure hourly position, and another big maybe in the distance. Things are looking up a little, I have an interview with Macy’s, I hope for an hourly job so that I can work to help get us out of the place we are in.

         Hope has been lost on me for a while but, I just can’t stop thinking that just maybe this next time will work out and doors will open for me. My karma is making me pay for a lot of what I have done. Fighting made it a little worse but I wasn’t told I should just lay down and let the world push me around. So in a way I write this to convince my self that what I want can be acquired if i work hard enough and not stop lay down and say that I give up. Sure it’s okay to do that for a little while but you have to roll over look at the bright blue shy, and know that things can happen as long as you want it enough, work hard enough. I know I’ll make mistakes and that the world has a way of coming up and saying “oh no not today! Today you will learn something and do something completely out of the way! Silly mortal thinking she has it right!” I know deep in my bones that the goddess has something for me that is bigger then the universe only because it’s me that I need to worry about, me that I need to pull together, me that has to live with the choices that I have made. Everything that I go thur will not be in vain! I will learn I will grow and I will continue on a road that will make me the best person that I can be, no one can take that a way from me, and no one can say that I can’t have it do to appearance or hairstyle. 

         I will have my house in the woods an hour away form the city, with my little stream, herb garden, green house, and family if I wish it. If I get help to do it fine by me but no one can tell me that I can’t have, that I don’t deserve it. It’s my life my sea and I will swim in it no matter what the current, the storm, or waves. I will fight to keep my head high and my eyes always looking to the future and knowing that what I do now will take me farther then I think right now. 

I will be stronger

I will make it

I will have what I want

I will not quit no matter the hardship

I will keep moving

I will survive